“You’re such a poker face, Violet.”

                Bitsie’s childish voice stung my eardrum. Luckily, she couldn’t read minds or all my secrets might be revealed. Bitsie always called me a poker face because I rarely showed any expression on my face. Bitsie was the closest to me in school. I didn’t socialize much in school. Being with more than three people was enough to make me comfortable.

                Despite being my best friend, I’d never told her about my crush. She didn’t have any idea that I’d fallen into someone. There was this boy; the only one who could make my heart skipped a beat.  Maybe two or three beats if I’d ever counted.

                He was the exception of my closest friend but, he was the one I usually had a chat with, among hundreds of students in the school. His name is Meer Bloom, my Biology partner. His tall, lanky frame made him appeared like a front page model. His tanned skin made a perfect combo with his dark brown hair matching his eyes.

                I didn’t have much thought of why I always stole some sneaky glances towards him in school. Not that I was her girlfriend or best friend. I was just one of countless girls who had talked to him. Looking at him almost every time made me realized one thing about him. It was right at the dark side of him, sparking dimly in the darkness.

                He had a secret, lying not so peacefully in his heart. His expression obviously showed that he was actually in love. The only person who’d never left his sight was Ruth Rileys, the girl who sat in front our table in Biology lab. I wondered what did he feel when he stared at Ruth.

                “Meer. You like Ruth, don’t you?” We were working on our presentation on the process of mitosis. It took infinite guts just to ask him that but, I bit the bullet for a confirmation from him. I could see the shade of rouge rushing to his face. If he lied, I still knew the truth.

                “N-No! Absolutely, no.” He tried to hide it. I raised an eyebrow with a smirk deliberately. “W-What are you talking about?” Trying to hide the truth wasn’t a good idea if he kept stammering on his words.

                “Your face is too red to prevent the beans from spilling.” He looked down and released a row of casual chuckles. It was going to work.

                “Y-Yes.” Turning his face towards me with a heart-melting smile, he admitted at last. “How do you know?” Creases doodled on his forehead.

                “I’m your Biology partner. Of course I could see the way you look at her.” My words rang true though it was a lie. It was because I always looked at him, I liked him. Those were the reasons of why my heart kept pounding until it was out of tempo.

                “So, after this, I’ll look for you every time I need some advices on love.” I really couldn’t believe this. There was nothing even better than not falling in love but, I couldn’t stop myself from liking him.

                The cafeteria was crowded as usual during lunch. There was a bunch of popular chic laughing with a lilting voice and seductively did that flamboyant flip-the-hair moves at their reserved table. Walking with a tray of garden salad and chips passed their table; I heard a familiar voice calling me from a small mass of the girls. I turned to look and I was right.

                Meer.

                He stood up and set his pace towards me with an amiable grin. I decided to run away but, it was too late. His fingers had already grabbed the sleeve of my shirt. This was going to be terrible. I knew there was gauntlet of eyes staring at us – actually, me.

                Meer’s lips suddenly appeared few inches away from my ears. His voice was low. “I want to talk to you. Alone.” He pulled back and grinned towards me. Gladly, he wasn’t a vampire so that he couldn’t hear my heartbeats which pounded in presto. “I’ll see you after the last period. Don’t worry, I’ll send you home, alright?” If I was an ice cube, I would already evaporate – not melting - with the hotness of his whispery voice in my ears.

                Being in the same car with him had already sent an electrical rush to my body. If I could ever count my own heartbeat, I would miss hundreds of them in my counting. We weren’t in a relationship. I was just his friend who he would seek advices about his love matter.

                Meer brought me to the park. He said it would be a perfect place to release stress and talked to each other. The hot cappuccino in my hands gave calming warmth, a contrast to the humidity of Port Angeles.

                “I told her that she looks beautiful today. Not just today but everyday but, she thinks that I’m just kidding and fooling around with her.” He ran his fingers through his hair. The hair stayed spiky, revealing his wide forehead.

                “Maybe,’ his sight shifted towards me ‘because you have many girl friends. You’re nice and friendly with every one especially girls.” Lips pouting, eyebrow raised, creases on his bare forehead made him looked more suave and cuter.

                “But, I only said to the person I loved.” My breath turned from plateau to a low gasp. He considered that feeling as love. We were barely seventeen and we had so much things awaited us later. He could consider that as love?

                He treated every girls the same. Nothing more, nothing less. I knew I was just one of the evanescent girls albeit there was a part of me wanting to be the special one in his heart. And, I knew it was utterly impossible.

                “One-sided love is complicated, isn’t it? Hard, indeed.” Shoot! I’d voiced out my thoughts without knowing that I was doing it. Meer’s expression turned into a questioning one. “I-I’m sorry. I said it as if I know your feelings. I’m sorry.”

                There was a sign of hope in his flaring eyes and his grin. “You always said things that I felt.” The grin etched wider. “I feel so relief when I’m with you. This is the first time I feel this way.”

                I was the one who liked him and I should feel glad hearing that but, I felt terrible.

                “Hey, Violet. Would you follow me to the town this weekend?” There was nothing I could do instead of nodding.

                Love is totally weird and complicated, literally.

                Meer and I were having a very good time together. We went to the movie theater and watched action movie, snapped some silly photos while eating doughnuts at the café, bought two big swirly lollipops and I reckoned, it was the best day ever. I really wished if it could turn out as a date.

                “Why are you asking me out with you? I mean, you have so many girl friends and you picked me to spend a weekend with you. It’s weird. I’m a wallflower and you’re, like, the hottest guy in school.” He chuckled at the last bit of my words.

                “It’s because you’re special.” He continued to enjoy the choc-coated doughnut on his plate.

                Special? Me? Was it true that I was special to him? No! I shouldn’t think of it. It was impossible. Maybe he wanted to talk about Ruth again. I shouldn’t hope for miracle to happen. He really loved Ruth. But why I felt so happy? All I could do was to with that this exact moment would last longer.

                Meer drove his TSX to a small, crowded part of the town. Meer’s hand grasped mine. No one could describe at what speed my blood rushed. The street was busy but, I didn’t feel uncomfortable with it. I felt happier, having my hand in Meer’s. He pulled me into a small store at the beginning of the arcade. Sweet smell wafted in the atmosphere near the store.

                As I set my foot in the store, bottles of perfumes and aromatic oils were arranged on the rows of wood shelves. I inhaled deeply to the mixed aroma of sandalwoods, floral, ocean and spices.

                “You like perfumes?” He asked. His voice was so soft, influenced by the serenity around us.

                “Not really. I wear it for needs only. But, I do love aromatic oils.” He smiled and paced towards the rows of aromatic oils. I followed him and picked one which was my favorite. The small glass vial was wrapped with a sticker around it.

                “Ocean Bloom?” Meer’s lilting voice almost made the vial bounced from my hand. He giggled at my clumsiness. “Sorry.”

                “It’s okay. I like this the most.”

                “You know what?” I looked at him. “Meer means sea in Germany.” Shock rushed through my veins. “Meer Bloom and Ocean Bloom? Cool.” A grin spread across his face, followed by a warm chuckle.

                “It must be coincidence. I-It’s not like what you think it is. I’d never noticed it.” My words didn’t come out smoothly and turned into sentences of humiliating stammers. Meer laughed at my flushed cheeks.

                “You’re amusing. I’d never seen you so clumsy.” He kept giggling and I found it made my heart melted down. Meer’s hand kept hovering over the bottles, searching for one bottle which attracted his muse. His hand suddenly stopped hovering and slowly picked a vial with purple and white sticker on it.

                ‘Violet Delight’

                Violet? My name? Was he choosing it deliberately?

                “Here, take this.” Meer handed me a small paper bag. I opened the bag and took out the content. It was a bottle of aromatic oil which was Ocean Bloom. My forehead contorted, showing a puzzled expression.

                “It’s a present for hearing my stories. You’d helped me a lot. A lot more than I hoped.” Meer’s face was solemn but, there was still a slight hopeful smile on his face.

                My bedroom was filled with my favorite fragrance. The Ocean Bloom wafted in my bedroom, creating a serene and calm atmosphere. Not only I felt fresh but, I felt too light-headed inhaling the scent of his name until I might not be able to sleep that night. I had to confess to him. But, when?

                The vibrating on my phone broke my reverie. Bitsie texted me, telling that Ruth would be moving to Tucson.  I promised him to help him with Ruth. I dialed Meer’s number and hit the green button.

                “Hello.” Meer’s voice was at the end of the line. “What’s up, Violet?”

                “Ruth is going to move next week.”

                “And?”

                “You should…” It hurt biting the bullet. Inhaling deeply, I let it out with “…confess.”

                I approached Ruth after our Biology class ended. She was physically perfect. No wonder Meer had a crush on her. She had a perfect smile with soft, fair skin and golden blonde hair which fell in smoothly on her back.

                “Hey, Ruth.”

                “Hi.” She smelled of something familiar which was not the way eau de toilette or perfume would smell like.

                “I just want to say goodbye.”

                “Thanks, Vi. I’m going to miss the humidity. Tucson might be too dry for me.” She let out a flamboyant chuckle.

                “May I ask something?” She nodded. “What perfume did you wear? I kind of like it.”

                “It’s not perfume. It must be the aromatic oil in my room. I realized I don’t need any perfume as the scent stick to my clothes. I really love aromatic oils.”

                So, all the aromatic oil stuff that day was only because of Ruth. I was right. Though I knew it would end up like this, I was still hoping for him. A friend couldn’t defeat a lover. It was my fault to hope for his feelings towards me. In the end of the day, I got nothing. Nothing at all.

                “Meer.” He was sitting alone during lunch. I took a seat on a chair beside him. “Have you confessed yet?”

                “Not yet. I still don’t have the guts.”

                “Look. I want to tell you something.” I was going to confess albeit being not so sure about that. “I…” My heart beat so hard as if it would jump out of my ribcage. “…like you.” I know you’ll reject me but, I don’t care. I know that you and I aren’t more than friends but I’m so happy having your company.” Meer didn’t say a thing. His face was empty. “At that moment, I realized and made me think that the most important thing is to confess your feelings.”

                Despite not being a happy ending for me, I had to say it. Even though there was nothing started or ended. I continued on my words. “Ruth is going to move. Don’t you feel remorseful if you don’t confess?” He let out a chuckle amidst solemnity.

                “Thank you, Violet.” He stood up and smiled towards me. “Thank you so much!” Suddenly, my torso was wrapped with his arm. Blood rushed to my cheeks. He released my torso and quickly rushed out.

                Loving someone who didn’t love us was masochistic. But when I let out everything that was buried for so long inside me, I didn’t feel chagrin. I felt even happier.

                “Hey.” Meer?

                “So, how was it?” A smirk spread on his face.

                “I knew it would turn out this way.”

                “So?”

                “I was rejected.”

                It was crazy but, I cried. “Why are you crying?” He laughed. I cried because we were both rejected. Both of us felt sad albeit we would fall in love again.

                Suddenly, Meer’s hand stroked my head. “I won’t be sad.” He smiled so wide that the bonhomie in it was tranquilizing. “It’s because you’d cried for me.” A familiar scent stung my nose. It was the scent of aromatic oil. It was Violet Delight. The sweet smell of violet was from Meer.

                “Violet Delight?” My voice was too low.

                Meer pouted with his brow lifted. “What?” He sniffed on his shirt. “It must be the one I put in my bedroom.”

                “I thought you bought it for Ruth.”

                “Ruth? Why?” He didn’t know that Ruth liked aromatic oils. He really didn’t know. He bought Violet Delight for himself, not for Ruth.

                “Hey, what’s wrong? This is my favorite, remember? It’s Violet Delight?”

                No way. It must be coincidence.

                “I like violet.” His grin changed into a smirk in the most appealing way. It got even more attractive. Which violet did he mean? I looked at him with a questioning look. A playful smirk carved on his face, teasing me in the sexiest way.

                He murmured into my ears. “I like violet and Violet.”